Living With Regret

The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly. Luke 22:61-62 NIV

I can’t image the pain Peter felt as he heard the rooster crow, and the Lord turned and looked straight at him. As their eyes met, the overwhelming sense of regret that surely gripped Peter’s heart, must have been nearly more than he could bear!

Think about all that Peter had experienced with the Lord during the three years prior. He had walked beside him and watched him perform countless miracles. He stood by as blind eyes were opened, lame feet were healed, and demons were cast out. He watched as Lazarus came forth. He was in his inner circle with James and John, Jesus’ best friends and closest companions. They were the only three who had been invited to accompany Jesus into the house of Jarius to witness Jesus raising his daughter from death back to life. He was privileged to accompany Jesus on the mountain when Moses and Elijah appeared; and to see Jesus in all His glory as he spoke with them. Let’s not forget when Peter stepped out of the boat and walked on the water, or the time that Jesus said, “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” Surely, if anyone had stood by the Lord, in His moment of need, you’d think it would have been Peter!

Just hours before, while sharing dinner together, Peter had made this statement, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” Luke 22:33-34 NIV

Those were the words that haunted Peter as he heard the rooster crow, as Jesus turned, and their eyes met. How long he wept, it doesn’t say, but I imagine even the bitterest tears could not wash away the sorrow he felt. There is no record of Peter standing at the foot of the cross, for we only hear of John having been there.

The hours between his arrest and his resurrection must have seemed like an eternity to Peter as he wrestled with his own disappointment in himself and wondered how he could have possibly turned away so easily.

Perhaps you’ve wrestled with disappointment in yourself a time or two. Can you relate to Peter? Have there been times when you’ve wished you had been stronger; when you should have proclaimed your Lord and instead denied him, either by your words or your actions? If so, you have some idea what Peter was going through.

As Peter recounted their conversation at dinner, I imagine these words became his source of hope and kept him from believing all was lost.

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31-32 NIV

If I was Peter, I would have replayed those words back in my mind over and over again! And when you turn back….and when you turn back…and when you turn back… Therein lies Peter’s hope! God wanted him to turn back! It was not too late! He still had a place of service in God’s kingdom! He could still strengthen his brothers! No doubt, the next 24 hours were agonizing for Peter, but I believe Peter held onto the hope those words brought him!

Don’t just relate to Peter’s struggle, be sure to relate to his hope as well. You may have fallen short, but take heart, God is well aware that we all fall short! That’s when we need to remember God’s words of hope the most, to get our hands on a Bible and read until hope begins to replace despair.

If you feel like you’re living in the hours between the crucifixion and the resurrection, don’t give up….Sunday’s coming!

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