“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” Luke 6:41 NASB
There’s something universal in all of us, part of our human nature, that quickly identifies the shortcomings of others while failing to see our own. The best time to remember this is when we are bruiting over the actions of someone else. That’s the time to recall that we too make decisions that others fail to understand and we too fall short of all that God wants us to be. This recollection may keep us from turning our bruiting into malicious gossip and unjustified condemnation.
But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her. John 8:7 NASB
The angry mob who publicly humiliated this woman they had caught in adultery fell silent when Jesus spoke these words. They had brought her to Him hoping He would condemn her to stoning, as prescribed in the law. Yet they weren’t interested in fulfilling the law or in righteousness on any level. Their humiliation of this girl was self serving. They were looking for a reason to trip Jesus up, to place him in a no-win situation. I have to wonder, when I am grumbling about the actions of others, how often I am driven by selfish motives. Usually if I’m honest with myself, and really think it through, that’s the case. Sometimes I’m annoyed because they are getting away with something I was corrected for. Other times, I feel put out simply because I would have done things differently, or because they didn’t seek my opinion first. Even more so if they asked my opinion but went in a different direction All these reasons are based in selfishness and have no place in the heart of a follower of Christ.
How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Luke 6:42 NIV
Next time you are annoyed with the actions of someone else, first stop and take inventory of your motives. Ask yourself, “Why is this bothering me so much?” Then take some inventory of your own actions and be sure that you are not neglecting sin in your own life. Then if it is clear that your friend is struggling with sin, gently approach them in love and help them see the mistake they are making.
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Galatians 6:1 NIV
In keeping with the principles set forth in Matthew 18, go to the person directly, don’t tell other people first! Your motivation should be to help them see the truth so they can be restored and succeed spiritually, not to “set them straight!” If you are not willing to put forth the effort to go to them and help them, then you shouldn’t be speaking of the situation at all. Guard yourself from a grumbling and complaining spirit.
My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. James 5:19-20 NIV